T G I F

 

1. YOU SHOULDN’T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS, AND DON’T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
 
2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
 
3. IS ATHEISM A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION?
 
4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
 
5. IS THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE?

6. IF I GO TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASK  ‘WHERE’S THE SELF-HELP SECTION? THEY SHOULD TELL ME TO HELP MYSELF…RIGHT?

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO HARM HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

 

 

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO ‘GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?’

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE  WILL CLEAN THEM?

15B. SHOULDN’T THEY ATTACH SOMETHING BIGGER THAN A BIG WOODEN HANDLE OR BRICK THAT WON’T FIT IN YOUR CAR??

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE..

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD ‘LISP’ TO HAVE AN ‘S’ IN IT?

 

 

29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED ‘HEMORRHOIDS’ INSTEAD OF ‘ASSTEROIDS’?

30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN’T SHOOT AT THEM?

31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM — DUH?

32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

 

 

 

 

 

yvonne, at 47.91666

these days are my summer
i shall not want

i will lie down in green pastures
and dream as the clouds float by,
feeling the wind caress my skin

i will attend concerts and shows
and celebrate the wonder of gifted musicians

i will go barefoot as often as possible
and feel the earth embrace my skin

i will absorb the sunshine
and marvel in its healing rays

i will stay up late
and awaken at the last possible moment

i will go for long lazy stolls through wooded areas
and let my thoughts ebb and flow,
as easily as the oceantide

i will exalt over the bounty of the season
reveling in the sweet taste of fresh summer fruit, freshly caught fish
and the occasional oh-so-necessary ice cream cone

i will recline as i see fit,
and Do Nothing,
and Not Bother

i will accept every invitation
without reservation
or hesitation
to go forth and recreate

so i can gather these happy, tired
sand-encrusted, SPF-scented memories
and recall them in the deadness of my winter

yea, though i walk
through the valley of the shadow
of No Accrued Vacation Time,
i shall not fear

  

 i will seize each day
and let each day seize me!

 

a frosty july treat

 

“Icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have stripes, formed by layers of snow that react to different conditions.
 
Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet fills up with meltwater and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form.

When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a green stripe.

 Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea.”

thanQ for this set of photos and blurb to my babybrother ed, who is finishing up his 2nd year as a med student at the american university of the caribbean…and will soon be close by as he begins his residency in new yawk!

mother nature never ever fails to amaze and astound me, as do all the wonders of the incredible physiology of the human body. i am all at once humbled, overcome and in breathless awe…

isn’t life delicious?