in absentia…

yes, i have been absent. just a little too much going on in this life at present. i am frustrated over my inability/unwillingness/demotivation to express myself either through this venue, or visually as an artist.

a tiny spark has emerged through my association with massscribes, and their incredibly talented members. also some bright shiny spots have weaved themselves into my very soul due to my recently renewed reunion with former classmates who still practice the fine arts. i am at once in awe and more than somewhat intimidated

…but reflexively retreat rather than create.

i visualize a million tiny pieces of me, hurtling into space.

i am disappointed in my apparent lack of ability to dissociate emotionally and be more captain spock-like, capable of critical and logical thought, without all the complications of feelings.

and why ~ oh why ~ does my horrorscope have to be so SPOT ON today ?!?!

October 22

Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, there is a child inside of you who needs tending, dear Leo. You are all grown up, and proud of who you have become. And well you should be. But we are all the sum total of who we once were. Today’s planetary positions suggest that you spend some time acknowledging the various parts of your past. That includes the good parts as well as the not-so-good parts. It is only after you have integrated all these different elements of yourself that you can truly be the person you are meant to be.

look for a post soon on my upcoming meeting with the king!, or my mother’s recent heart surgery, my collaboration on a book!, laying down some vocals with an old friend; or my new hiking and volleyball adventures…{giggle}…but certainly not the upcoming mindphuck which is the presidential election.

until then, i remain…
perplexed,

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3 Responses to “in absentia…”

  1. grab your spirit and yank it a few times and you’ll feel instant relief. lol.
    just kidding. yes, the past is a ploy to pull us back into a shell of insecurity, but why go there unless you are measuring today’s success?
    we’ve all made our share of stumbling catastrophies in the past but i believe it was our spirit that led us away from it and into what we have become. we each have that desire to succeed and grow forward and our spirit honors that… “whether you like it or not.” (wozniak insertion)
    we all have an ego to thwart our attempts to achieve truth, soul and unconditional love but regardless we also have the choice to bypass the ego’s false power with our own omnipotent connection to the universe.
    congratulations to all the people from my past that are still moving forward as we speak, and those who may not believe they are… guess again.
    we are all nicely progressing towards the enlightenment we all so richly deserve because whether anyone believes it or not each one of our supposedly separate lives is conspiring to move forward.
    inspiration is only a bead of sweat on the brow of success. it’s the thought that put it there, along with the spirit to push it forward through the skin that will make it jerk your hand up to wipe it off. (a little metaphorical humor).
    we can always second guess when we’re taking a break.
    (insert nike slogan here) – “just do it”
    so unstrap your past and leave it with whatever other paraphernalia that short circuited and is no longer worth stuffing batteries or class d substances into. (you may need to edit some of this graphically correct script)
    we are all socially ordained through time and because there are still martha stewarts and george boogers doesn’t mean any of us are any less than them. actually we may appear way ahead of them at the moment.
    in the end we’ll still come out even.
    “and i don’t spare a punch.”
    “i love my wife,… all three hundred pounds of her.” (insert wozniak chuckle here)
    no wonder he was always excercising.
    much love and peace
    matt

    *

    REPLY:

    wow.
    as usual, blown away by your insight.
    inspired by your words.
    {insert tear here.}
    speechless,
    ~ yvonne

  2. the mum of madeleine Says:

    i feel the same way about the emotional aspect of my being. i can’t seem to put that away and be “spock-like” as you aptly put it. but maybe it’s in the genes, woman! i love you so much and i am so proud of what you have done artistically and as a woman. you rock my world, mama.

    *

    REPLY:

    totally blown away by your comment.
    i guess it’s all relative {heh, heh…all puns intended.}
    thanQ so much…
    love,
    bhur mam

  3. a million pieces can become a million stars
    you have become a constellation
    that is no void within, it is merely vastness
    remember
    nature abhors a vaccuum

    *

    REPLY:

    sometimes i wonder,
    where have i been all my life?
    thanQ for the little kick in the ass,
    and your comment…
    treasured, as always….

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