Archive for November, 2007

post-holiday ramblings

Posted in carpe diem!, changes, grateful, inner peace, offspring, silence, tales of my sanity have been greatly exaggerated, the blues on November 25, 2007 by whyvonne

seasons.jpg

i truly don’t have anything intelligent or even mildly entertaining to say; i just remembered that my last post was a forwarded e-joke {shudder!}.

now that the ham bone is stripped and ready for simmering in a thick bubbling froth of green peas and as many vegetables as i can scare up,  my oldest son’s wedding is behind me, and my mandatory holiday shift requirement at the hospital has been fulfilled…i can concentrate on lighter, simpler things….such as writing, doing more calligraphy and hope-hope-hoping that my house re-construction will be complete in a few weeks.

sorry, Constant Readers….not much to look at here. i will make a valiant attempt to write something ‘blog-worthy over the next few days. currently, i just had to bump my last post. i couldn’t stand to look at it anymore.

peace.

i love my country, it’s my government i fear…

Posted in greed and avarice, ignorance and arrogance, inner peace, just phucking funny on November 3, 2007 by whyvonne

A Montana cowboy is overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him.

The  driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many  cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at  his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure. Why not?”

The  yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to  his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the  digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a  response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the  cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586  cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my  calves,” says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the  animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, “Hey,  if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why  not?”

“You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says the cowboy. 

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy.

“You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.”

TODAY’S LAUGH COURTESY OF MY DADDY, J.R.A. II {THE RELUCTANT BLOGGER}
OF TEMPE, AZ.