Archive for May, 2013

never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups

Posted in Uncategorized on May 14, 2013 by whyvonne

reblogging since his situation had gotten so much more phucking ridiculous. the pendulum over-swings, far reaching to both sides…and never stopping in the oh-so-appropriate middle.

what lies within

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hmmm….where to begin?

yesterday i got an urgent phone call from the vice-principal of my son’s {public} school. when he didn’t reach the landline {yep, still have one!}, he called my cell phone. apparently they had to confiscate a weapon from my 10 year-old son.

“my God!” i exclaimed {eyes rolling upward},”did anyone get hurt?”

the weapon in question was an M-16 assault rifle…
um, made by HASBRO for…
um, G.I. Phucking Joes.

they wouldn’t give it back to him. they insisted i drive to the school to pick it up. wouldn’t send it home in a sealed envelope. no, sir. had to go pick it up, because it “raised some eyebrows.”

above is a photo of the reason my son got “in trouble” at school yesterday. now i feel compelled to do some lengthy internet research to discover just how many serial killers played with G.I. Joes…

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dear mom,

Posted in a series of unfortunate events, acts of nature, bewilderness, changes, crossing over, growth & change, heartache, herself, inner peace, love, mindphuck, my inner child, shades of grey, silence, the blues, the burdens of being upright, the darkness on May 13, 2013 by whyvonne

yesterday was Mother’s Day; tomorrow would have been your 75th birthday.

I stood at your gravesite yesterday, and marveled at how lost I felt.

you’ve only been Gone From Me for 122 days. not that I’m counting…but it seems a marker…a placeholder in my life, to gauge the passage of time.

mine is a Complicated Grief, they tell me…since ours was a Complicated Relationship. when you Crossed Over, any hope of us ever having a true, nurturing relationship, died with you.

I keep trying to remind myself that yours was not an easy life…in part because you suffered through so many tragedies at so young an age: with John dying, then baby Shawn, and your father, all within 2 years of each other. such a huge series of losses…and I believe you were only 27. also in part because you chose such an unhappy path, and many unhealthy life choices. it is not my place to judge you, but you HAVE TO KNOW that I was always THAT GIRL, standing, stuck, in the greeting card aisle year after year on Mother’s Day…at a loss since Hallmark didn’t produce cards that spoke my truth.

life is complicated, and messy, and God knows all that and loves us anyway. I am sad that you never sought professional grief counseling after your Trinity of Loss. I am angry that you sought solace in drink, and couldn’t see the pain and devastation you wrought. I am bereft that you couldn’t be the Mother that I needed….ever.

but today, I am just crestfallen that this little girl doesn’t have her Mama anymore.

love, and peace,
yvonne elizabeth

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Mother’s Day 2013

Posted in a series of unfortunate events, acts of nature, bewilderness, changes, crossing over, growth & change, heartache, inner peace, love, mindphuck, my inner child, silence, the burdens of being upright, the darkness on May 12, 2013 by whyvonne

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122 days since you left.

I’m writing you a letter now.

I love you.

your little girl,
yvonne