Archive for the love Category

dear mom,

Posted in a series of unfortunate events, acts of nature, bewilderness, changes, crossing over, growth & change, heartache, herself, inner peace, love, mindphuck, my inner child, shades of grey, silence, the blues, the burdens of being upright, the darkness on May 13, 2013 by whyvonne

yesterday was Mother’s Day; tomorrow would have been your 75th birthday.

I stood at your gravesite yesterday, and marveled at how lost I felt.

you’ve only been Gone From Me for 122 days. not that I’m counting…but it seems a marker…a placeholder in my life, to gauge the passage of time.

mine is a Complicated Grief, they tell me…since ours was a Complicated Relationship. when you Crossed Over, any hope of us ever having a true, nurturing relationship, died with you.

I keep trying to remind myself that yours was not an easy life…in part because you suffered through so many tragedies at so young an age: with John dying, then baby Shawn, and your father, all within 2 years of each other. such a huge series of losses…and I believe you were only 27. also in part because you chose such an unhappy path, and many unhealthy life choices. it is not my place to judge you, but you HAVE TO KNOW that I was always THAT GIRL, standing, stuck, in the greeting card aisle year after year on Mother’s Day…at a loss since Hallmark didn’t produce cards that spoke my truth.

life is complicated, and messy, and God knows all that and loves us anyway. I am sad that you never sought professional grief counseling after your Trinity of Loss. I am angry that you sought solace in drink, and couldn’t see the pain and devastation you wrought. I am bereft that you couldn’t be the Mother that I needed….ever.

but today, I am just crestfallen that this little girl doesn’t have her Mama anymore.

love, and peace,
yvonne elizabeth

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Mother’s Day 2013

Posted in a series of unfortunate events, acts of nature, bewilderness, changes, crossing over, growth & change, heartache, inner peace, love, mindphuck, my inner child, silence, the burdens of being upright, the darkness on May 12, 2013 by whyvonne

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122 days since you left.

I’m writing you a letter now.

I love you.

your little girl,
yvonne

one shot a day…

Posted in carpe diem!, crazy unadulterated bullshit, fambly and friends, grateful, humble and grateful, in the summertime, just phucking funny, love, offspring, precious & few, sunshine on August 9, 2009 by whyvonne

this idea was totally STOLEN from my buddy BJ Hill,
who just turned 33 (gasp!)…

since life does indeed seem to pass by in the blink of an eye…

i am going to attempt to post one photograph from my life each and every day…

i hope you enjoy these moments as much as i enjoy capturing them!

 ~ WHYvonne

 tshirts

this shot came about as a result of a recent camping trip to
myles standish state forest in carver, massachusetts.
while making a list of necessary equipment to take along,
one wiseguy in our party jokingly suggested,

“everybody bring ONE shirt, ONE pair of shorts, ONE pair of socks…”

to which 12 year old benjamin replied enthusiastically,
“YES !…we change on wednesday!”

which led yours truly to make everyone a
t-shirt bearing that sentiment.

(it actually DID become a contest
to see who got the DIRTIEST by week’s end…
we all showered daily but wore the same
white t-shirt ONLY while at the campground!!)

you gotta love kids at this age.
EVERYTHING is funny.

 

wow.

Posted in art, bewilderness, grateful, herself, humble and grateful, hump-worthy, love, progress, not perfection, stirring of the soul, the burdens of being upright, trust on April 6, 2009 by whyvonne

 

front page!

thanks to all who came out on saturday evening 
to the reception for “new beginnings”
at the
sturbridge coffeehouse

thank you to pia and jen
for the opportunity…

thanks also to jonathan cook
of the
sturbridge town common
for the story…

and thank you to bruce and michael
for the lovely acoustic tunes,
particularly “body of my soul”…
(i only hope i can do
the background vocals justice…)

love & peace,
~ yvonne

unit 28

Posted in a series of unfortunate events, bewilderness, Christ-in-a-sidecar, heartache, love, mindphuck, offspring, possible tragic events, survivors, the blues, the burdens of being upright, the darkness on March 26, 2009 by whyvonne

dark and dimming
so hopelessly sans hope,
you tried your hand again

what can i do for you? my plaintive wail
“put me back in your womb.”

helpless, shaking, spun around
feelings overwhelm and
i coccoon myself…

saturated with details
meetings, and calls
playing the game,
repeating your name
it’s all the same

i am here for you.
i fight for you, i comfort you
i cry for you, would die for you.
but who will save me?

taciturn

Posted in a series of unfortunate events, bewilderness, heartache, herself, love, mindphuck, possible tragic events, silence, the burdens of being upright, trust on November 17, 2008 by whyvonne

 

 

breakthru

conflicted, northampton

 

on holiday from this and many other things…

please excuse me while i try to figure out just exactly whatthephuck i think i’m doing. because, seriously, i thought i knew…

you.

Posted in bewilderness, growth & change, heartache, love, shades of grey, stirring of the soul, trust on September 26, 2008 by whyvonne


eyes wide shut
narrowing my world
til only you shine through

a sliver of light
illuminating
my heart in blue

closing every door
except those
i leave open

…only for you.