Archive for the The Right Thing Category

in training…

Posted in fambly and friends, grateful, heartache, humble and grateful, inner peace, making a difference, possible tragic events, science & nature, survivors, The Right Thing on February 19, 2009 by whyvonne

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…approximately 73 days to go! just committed to the Vineyard ride for MS, opting for the measly 50K so as not to embarrass myself and others. LOL.

time to put down the ben & jerry’s and put on the snowshoes! wish me luck…and please consider sponsoring me! no donation is considered too small!

mother’s day

Posted in fambly and friends, growth & change, heartache, herself, inner peace, love, my inner child, offspring, shades of grey, stirring of the soul, tales of my sanity have been greatly exaggerated, The Right Thing, trust, Uncategorized on May 10, 2008 by whyvonne

mother,

      during those early dearest days

            i did not dream that you had

                  a large life which included me,

                        for i had a life

                              which was only you.

~ maya angelou

you know you’re a nurse when…

Posted in carpe diem!, just phucking funny, making a difference, nursing 101, science & nature, tales of my sanity have been greatly exaggerated, The Right Thing on March 11, 2008 by whyvonne

i intend no offense to anyone reading this, since we are all patients at one time or another…

and it may seem an odd time to post this in the wake of the shitstorm i am currently caught up in….but sometimes you just need PHUNNY.

thanQ to my sistah-in-nursing, dianne, for today’s laughs…

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YOU KNOW YOU’RE A NURSE WHEN…

  • The front of your scrubs reads “Nurses… here to save your ass, not kiss it!”
     
  • You occasionally park in the space with the “physicians only” sign…and knock it over.
     
  • You believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
  • You recognize that you can’t cure stupid.
  • You own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them.
  • You believe there’s a special place in hell for the inventor of the call light.
  • You believe that saying “it can’t get any worse” causes it to get worse just to show you it can.
  • You wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
  • You believe that any job where you can drive to work in your pajamas is a cool one.
  • You consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil.
     
  • Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.
     
  • You’ve been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.
  • You’ve ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring, and twelve earrings say “I’m afraid of shots.”
     
  • You’ve ever placed a bet on someone’s blood alcohol level.
  • You’ve told a confused patient that your name is that of a coworker’s and to call if they need help.
  • Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago’s water tank.
  • You have seen more penises than any prostitute could dream of.
  • You believe that not all patients are annoying…some are unconscious.
  • Your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays.
  • You don’t get excited about blood, unless it’s your own.
  • You’ve sworn to have “do not resuscitate” tat tooed on your chest. Soon.
  • Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you.
  • Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
  • Your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.
  • You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
  • You believe that “shallow gene pool” should be a recognized diagnosis.
  • You believe that the government should require permits to reproduce.
  • You believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase “Wow, it’s really quiet today,isn’t it?
  • You have ever wanted to write a book entitled “Suicide: getting it right the first time.”
  • You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say “I have no idea how that got stuck in there.”
  • You’ve had to leave a patient’s room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

what is this ‘customer service’ you speak of?

Posted in bewilderness, crazy unadulterated bullshit, greed and avarice, ignorance and arrogance, just phucking funny, tales of my sanity have been greatly exaggerated, The Right Thing, W T F ? on February 17, 2008 by whyvonne

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i love this one…

help. my inner child is demanding an iPhone…

Posted in carpe diem!, crazy unadulterated bullshit, greed and avarice, just phucking funny, my inner child, nurturing, tales of my sanity have been greatly exaggerated, The Right Thing, Uncategorized, W T F ? on February 3, 2008 by whyvonne
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yes, it’s true. needy little bitch won’t let it go, either.

this has nothing to do with reason or responsibility or The Right Thing.

i just want it.

chaperone

Posted in bewilderness, carpe diem!, grateful, humble and grateful, just phucking funny, making a difference, nurturing, offspring, The Right Thing on June 2, 2007 by whyvonne
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when i signed up to be a chaperone for the fourth grade field trip to the ecotarium in worcester, i didn’t actually think i would get picked. so, here i am on a bus with approximately 40-some odd 9- and 10-year olds {roughly 1/2 of our entourage, not counting bewildered adults} on the way to woosta. despite repeated reminders that we “need to stay together,” and even though i told my six little charges that i had “webbed them,” i spent much of the day either looking for them or trying to re-group us. fast-forward to early afternoon….we have about an hour to kill before re-boarding the sweaty, crowded bus that will return us home….how is it that is takes a child forty minutes to decide how to spend $7 in a sweaty, crowded gift shop? why did the conductor on the tiny  train we rode feel compelled to tell the children that “the acoustics are really great in the tunnel, so that is when you can scream at the tops of your lungs!”? how is it that 9- and 10-year olds know “100 bottles of beers on the wall,” {also at the tops of their lungs on that long sweaty bus ride home} but can’t quite recall how to count backwards from 100?

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my favorite shiny moment of the day….after hearing me complain about climbing yet another hill in search of the pathetic bred-in-captivity polar bear {if she’d had her d’ruthers, i am fairly certain she would NOT have chosen a concrete enclosure in the sweltering new england summer as her home!}, one of the boys patted me on the shoulder and said, “that’s ok, you’ll sleep good tonight!” …..ahhh, kids.

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i have a renewed sense of respect and awe for teachers and busdrivers alike.

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i wouldn’t have traded yesterday for all the beans in boston. i know my son will remember the day for a long time.

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carpe diem!